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Sep 28, 2010
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county sheriff said, this is an actual quote, lindsay was a model inmate. she was in there for 11 hours. i mean what do they expect her to do, shank a hooker? i mean -- supposedly lindsay is reporting to rehab voluntarily in the next few days. in the meantime, they're having a plumber come in to caulk her nose shut just in case. last night was the season premiere of "the amazing race." do you watch this show? this is a reality show. one of the teams this year is made up of two of the hosts from the home shopping network. i don't know who they are. the teams travel to england. one of the first challenges was use an enormous medieval-style sling shot to hit a suit of armor with a watermelon. just like they did in medieval times. unfortunate unfortunately, claire had some trouble with her melon. >> you got this, sister. you are super, super close. right in the kisser. show that knight who's boss. >> jimmy: now that's -- actually a good way to get vitamin c into your brain. believe it or not, she was okay. still pulling seeds out of her nose but -- okay. matter
county sheriff said, this is an actual quote, lindsay was a model inmate. she was in there for 11 hours. i mean what do they expect her to do, shank a hooker? i mean -- supposedly lindsay is reporting to rehab voluntarily in the next few days. in the meantime, they're having a plumber come in to caulk her nose shut just in case. last night was the season premiere of "the amazing race." do you watch this show? this is a reality show. one of the teams this year is made up of two of the...
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Sep 25, 2010
09/10
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lock me up with lindsay! lock me up with lindsay! >> dina's coming out. let's go talk to her. >> dina, stay strong. hugs, not drugs. look on the bright side. tonight's sloppy joe night. >> stay strong, dina. michael says hi! there goes our ginger princess. i'll wait for you, lindsay! she's going back to linwood. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jake byrd, everybody. and, let me just say this -- guess what? about an hour ago, a judge reversed the decision and lindsay lohan was released from the linwood -- >> yeah! >> jimmy: thanks to you, jake byrd! >> yes! do you believe in miracles? yes! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! do you believe in miracles? yes! yes! >> jimmy: hard work pays off. that's the lesson. [ laughter ] hey, we have more craziness ahead for you. joaquin phoenix is here, you know -- [ cheers and applause ] he spent the last 18 months of his life pretending to be out of his mind. we have music from primus tonight. and also, a gentleman who has been here before, his name is science bob pflugfelder of the boston pflugfel
lock me up with lindsay! lock me up with lindsay! >> dina's coming out. let's go talk to her. >> dina, stay strong. hugs, not drugs. look on the bright side. tonight's sloppy joe night. >> stay strong, dina. michael says hi! there goes our ginger princess. i'll wait for you, lindsay! she's going back to linwood. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jake byrd, everybody. and, let me just say this -- guess what? about an hour ago, a judge reversed the decision and lindsay lohan was...
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to start drinking and driving into homes, because being a mess has become a lucrative business for lindsay lohan. i worked it out. let's say even if she goes ten more times this year, that's $11 right? obviously, she won't get all of that, there are taxes, of course, and her parents get a commission. they did help get her there. [ laughter ] but i have to say, i cannot think of a better way to reintegrate a drug addict back into society than giving them $1 million. dr. laura schlessinger has announced she's quitting her radio show because she's being oppressed by what she called interest groups. she thought it was okay to use the n-word not once, but 11 times in five minutes during a call with a black woman who wanted to know how to deal with her white husband's racist friends. very strange thing to hear on a.m. radio. and now, with dr. laura quitting, sarah palin is getting involved in this. and time now for a palin pop quiz. ready? here we go. upon hearing the news that dr. laura used the n-word 11 times in five minutes, did sarah palin, a, denounce the act as racially insensitive, b, us
to start drinking and driving into homes, because being a mess has become a lucrative business for lindsay lohan. i worked it out. let's say even if she goes ten more times this year, that's $11 right? obviously, she won't get all of that, there are taxes, of course, and her parents get a commission. they did help get her there. [ laughter ] but i have to say, i cannot think of a better way to reintegrate a drug addict back into society than giving them $1 million. dr. laura schlessinger has...
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he will probably do somewhere between lindsay lohan and lil' wayne. so -- can you imagine rod blagojevich in a prison jump suit? he would look like a traffic cone with a koosh ball on top of it. this is pretty funny. today on the bbc, which is the british, like, news channel, the anchors were tossing to their weather man. this is hard to follow because they only speak english. but watch the weather guy who apparently thought he was off-camera. >> now, we'll have the weather forecast in a minute, and of course, 100% accurate, all the detail you could want. i see him preparing for it so i'm not entirely -- >> well, one mistake. that was it now. >> jimmy: whoops. let's look at that again in slow motion. watch his face here -- [ applause ] like a poker player. not to be outdone here in the united states on "inside edition," last night, this question was posed to give us tonight's edition of "how is this news?" >> you may have noticed something different about me today. i'm now a brunette. thanks for the update. who are you again? last week, as you probabl
he will probably do somewhere between lindsay lohan and lil' wayne. so -- can you imagine rod blagojevich in a prison jump suit? he would look like a traffic cone with a koosh ball on top of it. this is pretty funny. today on the bbc, which is the british, like, news channel, the anchors were tossing to their weather man. this is hard to follow because they only speak english. but watch the weather guy who apparently thought he was off-camera. >> now, we'll have the weather forecast in a...